Below is a forwarded email that I received and it is really an excellent and humorous!!! Bet you’ll be laughing off your head after reading it!

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out loud!

Overview: I had to take my son’s lizard to the vet. Here’s what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something is wrong” with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

“He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “I’m serious, Dad. Can you help?” I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do. “Honey,” I called, “come look at the lizard!” “Oh, my gosh!” my wife exclaimed. “She’s having babies.” “What?” my son demanded. “But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom !” I was equally outraged. “Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn’t want them to reproduce,” I said accusingly to my wife.

“Well, what do yo u want me to do, post a sign in their cage?” she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!).

“No, but you were supposed to get two boys!” I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth). “Yeah, Bert and Ernie!” my son agreed. “Well, it’s just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know,” she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!). By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. “Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience,” I announced. “We’re about to witness the miracle of birth.”

“Oh, gross!” they shrieked. “Well, isn’t THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?” my wife wanted to know. We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. “We don’t appear to be making much progress,” I noted. “It’s breech,” my wife whispered, horrified. “Do something, Dad!” my son urged. “Okay, okay.” Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

“Should I call 911?” my eldest daughter wanted to know. “Maybe they could talk us through the trauma.” (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?) “Let’s get Ernie to the vet,” I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. “Breathe, Ernie, breathe,” he urged. “I don’t think lizards do Lamaze,” his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God’s sake.).

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass. “What do you think, Doc, a C-section?” I suggested scientifically. “Oh, very interesting,” he murmured. “Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?” I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside. “Is Ernie going to be okay?” my wife asked.

“Oh, perfectly,” the vet assured us. “This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn’t EVER going to happen . . . Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . . um . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back.” He blushed, glancing at my wife. We were silent, absorbing this. “So, Ernie’s just . . just .. .. . excited,” my wife offered. “Exactly,” the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence.

Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly. “What’s so funny?” I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness. Tears were now running down her face. “It’s just . . . that .. .. .. I’m picturing you pulling on its . . its . teeny little . . .” She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more. “That’s enough,” I warned.

We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay. “I know Ernie’s really thankful for what you did, Dad,” he told me. “Oh, you have NO idea,” my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter. Two lizards: $140. One cage: $50.. Trip to the vet: $30. Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard’s winkie: Priceless!

Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class. Lizards lay eggs!

 

Its Thursday morning at 10.55am and I am still at home! No, I am not on MC or on leave! I am perfectly well! And I am happy to be at home.

 

Actually for these 3 days I am working on shift at 1pm to 10pm.. I really enjoy it as I have morning time, which is the best time of the day for myself at home. I hope I can do it more often. =)

 

I just cleaned the floor, my room, going to have a nice hairwash and enjoy me-time. =)

 

Just hope I am not too exhausted after work later. =)

Yesterday in the office, I was reaching for my headset to listen to a nice song. And guess what I saw! One side of the headset was soaking in the tea in a mug! Man! I must have accidentally dropped it.

So I took it out and wiped it clean. Then I dipped into a clear water to further washing it. After that I dry it with a tissue paper and shook the water out of it.

I tried to use it and surprisingly there was still sound coming out of it! Just a little softer, perhaps it wasn’t fully dried yet.

It is a Panasonic headset from my old, blue walkman which my lovely aunt bought from me when I was still in the university. I think that was nearly 7 to 8 years ago! The headset is still working fine. Good quality, huh!

Wedding preparation is like a huge project. Or that’s what I thought; with so many things to arrange and organise for. I guess the most headache one will be wedding dinner where you have to carefully pick out the restaurant and venue that fits your budget. Next there’ll be the wedding list on who should you invite; those who will come and those who deserve to be invited.

Also there’s the wedding photography with so many blooming photographers out there, it is so hard to choose one that will carefully restoring the memories of your big day. I’ve heard many good feedbacks for wedding photographers raleigh nc and the photos on their website is really captivating.

And of course, to make sure that everything goes out as planned on the actual day. One might not want to marry the second with all the fuss and money goes into a wedding preparation!

Rather restless at work, not too much work to do and the work is rather boring too. I am doing documentation for the project I am doing, for godsake! It is actually more of how-to-do-it document and it reminds me of my documentation task in my previous job.

So, meanwhile, I am sort of looking around, if you get what I mean. Crossing my fingers, hoping for the best and at the same time, keeping my expectation real low.. ^.^ Anyway, the office is really cold these days and I could barely type with freezing fingers. I wish I have some heated gloves to keep my fingers and palm warm and comfortable. It doesn’t helps that the sun is shining so brightly outside.

Wish me luck!

1. Cure for headaches:

Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go.

 

2. Use of Soap Wrapper:

Don’t throw away the wrapper after removing a bar of soap. Place it inside your school cabinet or shoe box. It is a cheap way to filling the air with a nice smell.

 

3. Are your shoes smelly?

Here’s a solution. Put some tea leaves into a pair of stocking stuff each into a shoe. Leave for day or two and the smell just vanishes.

 

4. Tips for stamp collectors:

Place the envelope in the freezer for a few hours. You’ll then able to easily lift the stamps off with a pair of tweezers.

 

5. To keep buttons from dropping off:

Dag a drop of clear nails polish onto the thread that secures the buttons. This will harden and make it more difficult for the thread to break off.

 

6. Are cockroaches in your home driving u mad?

Try this tested trick. Fill a large bowl with cheap wine and leave it under the sink. The pests will drink it, fall in the bowl and drown easy.

 

7. To avoid hurting your fingers while hammering nails into the wall:

Hold the nails with a wooden clothes peg instead. So even u miss, u won’t get hurt.

 

8. To get rid of itch from mosquito bite:

Try applying soap on the area - instant relief.

 

9. Ants, ants, ants, everywhere

Well, they are never said to never cross a chalk line. So get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march, see for yourself.

 

10. Don’t panic if your soup’s too salty:

Add cut raw potatoes and throw them away once they are cooked as they have absorbed the salt. Your soup’s saved!

 

11. Use air-fresher spray to clean mirrors:

It does a good job and better still, give a lovely smell to the shine.

 

12. If u have problem with slippery shoelaces which refuse to stay:

Rub them with a candle and make them less slippery so that knot stay put

 

13. If u have stubborn grease stains on your work clothes:

Add a bottle of Coke with detergent. It’ll help loosen the grease.

 

14. Dirty marks on your white court shoes:

Just add some medicated oil on a piece of cloth and clean off the dirty marks on your white court. They’ll be looking as new again.

Every time I used my wok to cook, it never fails to turn black! I think it is either too thin or that my stove fire is too big. I already turned it to the lowest heat and it is still burning, although my food doesn’t burnt as quickly.

And it is tough to remove the burnt on the wok and I was forced to use abrasives sheet. It works like magic but I think it could be too harsh for the wok. It is time to invest in another good quality wok; this one could go down the drain as there’s too much effort cleaning up than food preparation & cooking itself.

Some of my friends find time to go back to swimming as a weekly exercise and I find that very good. I would like to go swimming too if it is convenient to me and if I can swim well! I’ve joined them for a couple of times and really enjoyed myself.
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However I find that the public swimming pool tends to have too many people especially during the weekend. I am not sure the standard of the hygiene and if they do change the salt cell replacement regularly.
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Else one might easily get sick with so many people sharing the pool each day.

I am not the type that invest in good mattress and pillow before this. I used to sleep on thin mattress and cheap pillow. When I moved last year, I bought a good mattress that has spring pockets and good support for the back.

But I am still on my cheap pillows for months till I think it’s time to invest in a good one for neck support! I went to the mall yesterday and there’s so many types to choose from! From microfiber, to cotton, to goose feathers, therapeutic pillows and even yoga bolsters.

I finally settled for a soft and nice microfiber pillow at 70% off. Marvelous!

It is time for health check again! I remembered that Adam was so worried about his result after he did the health examination last year. The result took a couple of days to be ready and he couldn’t sleep well, imagining the worst! Thank God it all went well.

This year, I am thinking to do a more thorough health check that involves ekg machines, tumour markers and whatever tests that wasn’t included last year.

It is going to cost more I am sure but well, early detection is better than cure. And a much cheaper and definitely better one! Nothing is more valuable than good health!